SOMNAMBULISM

Dear Mother,

I felt it prudent to write and advise you of certain changes we will need to implement re: plans/schedule for your forthcoming visit. I would like to preface this by saying that various circumstances have recently become extenuating, otherwise I would not have troubled you with itinerary alterations at this late stage.

Put simply, Trudy has been under much pressure of late. What with Simon’s ‘challenges’ at Scots (you know this, we have spoken about it at length) and Sophie’s horse riding regime, Trudy has had little ‘down time’, as they say in the popular press. Because my work has become so engrossing of late, the merger with Deutsche almost in place, I have had little time to keep an eye on Tutu, erring, instead on the side of ‘hand holding’ Reynolds and Coyle in making sure this deal goes through without incident. Perhaps you’ve read about it in the newspaper? With this responsibility, however, also comes the burden of sacrifice; time and energy, and I have devoted much to this project, spending every spare moment either at the office, or in Bowral. Thank heavens for Susie Brand, my PA (personal assistant) is all I can say. Suffice to say, Tutu, I fear, has been a little out of the loop, and thus a tad emotional. (NB: I found her will stuffed behind the cushions last Wednesday, with certain erratic notes scrawled across. As I have indicated, unsettling.)

Dr Struthers says she is fine. He’s a good man, so, of course I err to his judgement. He simply says she needs complete rest and good old fashioned TLC (tender loving care).

Which brings me to the business of the day. As you have always expressed an interest in things of a South Pacific nature, and as Tutu is in need of rest and relaxation, I thought we could combine the two ‘needs’ into one package. I have taken the liberty of booking a wonderful suite for the pair of you on Waikiki Beach, Hawaii (well, Susie did this for me, God knows I wouldn’t have the slightest clue how these things work!)

As much as I would love to join you, as I have explained, too much is at stake right now for me to leave ‘ground zero.’ I have much to do, that will, of course benefit us all in the long run, if you take my meaning?

I’m hoping very much this news will come as somewhat of a pleasant surprise to you, more entertaining than the original planned week at our Lindfield loony bin, I’d warrant?

If this all seems agreeable to you, Mother, I shall have Susie send the exact dates and travel details up to you post haste. I think this will be a wonderful opportunity for you two to really become good chums!

Regards,

PS: Dr Struthers seems to think a light sedation of an evening for Trudy is probably wise. There was some talk of her taking ‘moonlit strolls’ in her sleep recently. I find it hard to believe, but better safe than sorry. We don’t want any somnambulation 50 storeys over Waikiki Beach, now do we?